Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sigh!

Most of you would know that my cousin was hospitalized about a week ago for something that had the doctors perplexed. After doing tests and even a brain scan on him, they just couldn't get to the root of his problem which oftentimes left him contorted in pain.

It was so bad and scary at times looking at him that I thought he was possessed by something evil. I would like to thank all of you for your prayers and good wishes for him but unfortunately I would like to say it was all for nothing! No, no, he's alive but right now I am so PISSED at him that I wouldn't give two hoots if he was dead.

Yes, I know that's a bad thing to say but he bloody well deserves my anger. After some even furthers tests by the doctors, it's proven that he's back to his drug taking ways. I am absolutely disappointed with him right now. The saying 'a leopard never changes it's spots' sure rings true.

There we were all so worried about him. Practically fearing for his life and here he was back to his old ways. When questioned by the doctors and even us whether he was taking any drugs, he vehemently denied it. Said he was clean for years now. Even I believed that. I mean, I've seen him prior to this, he looked like he was getting back on track with his life.

He had a decent job (but I recently found out that he's been jobless for months) and everyone did their best to support him when he was trying his best to kick the habit. I wasn't one of them though but the rest of the family were there for him during his trying times. And to just crush the faith everyone has in him by going back to the habit is just not right.

I didn't even bother going to visit him anymore after my mom told me that what he was going through was because of withdrawal from not getting his fix. And there I thought he was being possessed, silly me. I feared and prayed for him for nothing. He's out of the hospital right now but as to what his condition really is, well to be honest, I don't give a damn anymore.

The next time anyone calls me and tells me he's in the hospital, I'll just say good for him cos at this point of time I'm very, very, very disappointed in him. I don't know whether it's easy or not to kick the drug habit cos I've NEVER in my entire life done anything so stupid but I know we all have a choice in what we do.

No one forced him to get involved with drugs in the first place. He was an intelligent young boy and he knew better than most what drugs do to people and yet he dived right it. He caused anguish to his parents. And even after he was caught and sent for rehabilitation, he went back to it for a time. And when we all thought he finally got his act together, he's back on it.

And as far as I'm concerned, it's his own doing. He just doesn't want to stop I guess. Like I said, everyone has a choice. If you really want to do something, no matter how difficult it is and how many obstacles you may face, you will be able to do. It all boils down to how badly you want to do something.

For the life of me, what do people get out of drugs anyway? A few hours of respite from their problems? A few hours of relieve from the realities of the world? A cool thing to do? I don't know.

Using drugs to escape your problems for a short while is something I cannot comprehend. After the delusional fantasies wear off, the problems are still going to be there right? And you're going to add to the problems you already have by getting addicted to drugs ... siggghhh ...

It would be so much better if you concentrated on starting up some coffee franchises instead. At least it's not so bad getting addicted to coffee ... LOL! But once again, thank you all for the wishes and prayers you sent his way.
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34 comments:

  1. You are right, we choose what we want to do in our life and anything bad or rather wrong decision, we bear the consequences ourselves..
    Hope your cousin will come to his sense and get help as soon as possible..

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  2. Oh, so it's a drug withdrawal symptom and not possession. You are right about being disappointed with him. He had a choice, so he had to live with that choice! All those who think it is cool to take drugs better read this and know how suffering it is when you go cold turkey. I'm just wondering, which would you have preferred - him having a drug withdrawal symptom or being possessed?

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  3. In a way, at least you found the answer and that it could be treated (I hope) with abstinence.

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  4. Geez, for a moment there, I got quite excited and was (secretly) hoping he was indeed possesed - coz I'd love to hear the story!!

    Anyway, his choice. (stupid choice, I'd say) I wouldn't give a damn too if he was my cousin!

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  5. oh dear.. while I do understand your feelings, I can't help but pity him too... sigh, hope he realise what a mess he got himself into soon...

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  6. if he can't resist the urge to relapse, i guess there's little that anyone can do to stop him. the power is always in his hands.

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  7. Unfortunately as with most addictions, no-one can help him until he wants to help himself. It doesn't look like he's ready to do that. The shame of it all is that he is deeply worrying and upsetting all the people who love him. That's another thing addicts just don't seem to grasp.

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  8. It's his own decision, your family has done all it can to help him and now it's time for him to help himself.

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  9. He's a HOUSE?!

    Thank goodness im just addicted to coffee (which I am trying very hard to cut down). :p

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  10. I really wished he didn't go back to his drugging ways. It's a total waste really.

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  11. Its really a shame when an addict falls back into their addiction.

    I understand your anger, but I also feel bad for him.

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  12. I think he needs counseling. His addiction gets worst than ever after his rehabilitation, too bad for him. He must havent seen the real beauty of life that's why he's indulged still in drugs.

    Why don't you try talking to him?ΓΌ

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  13. Kadus Mama - We ALWAYS have a choice in what we want to do and he picked the wrong one, so like you say, he has to bear the consequences but I'd like to keep myself away from him at the moment.

    I hope he'll eventually come to his senses too ...

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  14. Foongpc - Yup, it's a withdrawal symptom. I still cannot figure out this drug thing la. It's so uncool!

    To be honest, I'd have preferred it was a possession thing, could be fun watching the exorcism ... LOL!

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  15. BT - This is not his first time and no amount of abstinence is going to help if he's going to find a way back into it.

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  16. Cindy - Yeah, the possession story would have been better though it would have freaked me out ... LOL!

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  17. Sting - I've lost all my pity for him a long time ago. This time I thought he really went clean but guess he just couldn't stay away.

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  18. Life Ramblings - Yup, it's all entirely up to him. But judging by what's going on, I think it's way beyond him.

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  19. Romany Angel - Addicts are selfish and cowards as far as I'm concerned. They use drugs as a form of running away from things, giving them a brief respite from their problems and in the process hurting all those around them. They only think of themselves.

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  20. Tammy - Yes, you're right there and I hope maybe one day he'll eventually come to his senses.

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  21. Carol - Yup. And there I was worried that he was possessed!

    Urmmm, I'm addicted to coffee too ... LOL!

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  22. Perky - It is, especially when you thought he finally kicked the habit for good. Had us worrying all for nothing.

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  23. Meleah - Right now the anger and disappointment is still here that I don't really care what he does with his life anymore.

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  24. Treo Accessories - He's been through numerous counseling and rehabilitation and it doesn't seem to be working at all.

    I've given up on him to be honest.

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  25. I totally understand how you feel now but Sabar Nick..sabar.

    Sometimes,it takes a lot to help another being.. .Just have faith and keep praying for him..i believe he will change. Let's hope it won't be too late sajala..

    One of our family member use to be drug addict too..but Thank God he is clean now... happily married with 1 baby girl. :D and hell yea, we went through tonnes of nightmares!! Today money hilang, Next day its the TV in the living room hilang! :(

    Be patience :) this is the time he needs you all the most..

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  26. Emelda - It's difficult not to give up hope on him. It;s not like it's the first time. He's been on and off this for as long as I can remember.

    I do hope that he'll clean up his act before it really becomes to late.

    Thanks for the advise Emelda, much appreciated :D

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  27. Alamak, so it was the drugs eh? When u described him in ur other post, it did sound like he was going through the withdrawal symptoms.

    I know u're fed up and all that, cause believe me, I've had my share of friends/family with this prob too, but how to avoid helping them right? I mean pity ur cuz oso, so how? Why not force him into a rehab centre??

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  28. I just hope this time his reaction and the hospitalisation has scared him into quitting for good? Such a shame to see people wasting their time, money and life on drugs.
    Unfortunately in cases like this, you can't tell people what to do, he is the one who has the power to stop and he will only stop unless he really wants to. I really hope this time he will, for good.

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  29. This is frustrating. He got sick because of his "evil" ways and make everyone worry. I don't know how to make such people realize about what they've done themselves. Any help seems to be hopeless anyway.

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  30. Sorry to hear about A....addiction is sometimes hard to control...the body craves it...and the mind is too weak to resist. We all have our little cravings sometimes like sweets, or snacks or company but we seldom give in now do we? Not trying to defend his actions but trying to make sense of why people would want to do damage to their body intentionally! cheers!

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  31. Marzie - It was drugs alright. And I'm totally disappointed at the moment. Maybe when I'm cooled down a little more I just might start pitying him again.

    He was put in a rehab before and he ran away. I really hope he comes to his senses soon cos he's still young and there is still a future for him if he wants to take it, that is.

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  32. Marlene - It is. Everyone wants the best for him but he can't see that. People like these, as far as I'm concerned are just plain selfish and only think of themselves ...

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  33. Adrian - You do have a point there buddy and besides you know my cousin too but at least getting addicted to sweets doesn't screw up your life, well maybe you'd loose some teeth la (LOL!) but at least you don't screw up you entire life.

    You and me have our own worries and problems and though we fool around we hang out, we always knew our limits and we NEVER for once contemplated drugs and we turned out alright. Well, at least I hope we did ... hahaha ...

    But yeah, a weak mind makes resisting these things all that much harder. But I'm still sticking by my principles that if you really want to do something bad enough, you can. And I believe if he really wanted to kick this habit, he could.

    Phew, my longest reply ever ... hahaha ...

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  34. The World According To Me - To be honest, I somehow seriously doubt this will be his last time. As much as I want him to come clean, I know there will be a time when I get another phone call about him that I'll dread answering ...

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