Saturday, July 21, 2007

The Girly Man ...

It's been a pretty busy day for me today. Been doing some spring cleaning around the house with the wife and we've only just finished all the chores, well, most of it anyway. Still got a little more to do, but we decided to keep it for tomorrow.

Anyway, while helping the wife with the chores which included sweeping and vacuuming the hall, room & kitchen and also doing the laundry I kinda realized something today. I would normally always help the wife when she does the laundry and when it's done washing, I'd go and dry out the clothes for her in the sun (I don't have dryer, btw).

But today, I was busy with something in the kitchen and when one of the wash cycles (we had 4 cycles of laundry to do today, that's how much clothes we had to wash, we only have 2 kids but it feel like we're raising a battalion! LOL!) she said to me (in jest), 'I'll go dry these out, don't want people thinking you're some 'sissy boy' hanging out the laundry'. It never occurred to me that people may actually think that a man hanging out the laundry is a little on the 'soft' side. I have no issues with it and in fact, most of the men in my neighborhood (which I've noticed) also hang out the laundry to dry. Does doing something that's been perceived as a woman's job (not being a male chauvinistic pig, here) make me a lesser man?

I'm the kind of man who loves helping the wife with her household chores. I'll always be on hand to help out in any way I can be it sweeping the floor, cleaning the room, doing the laundry, even cooking for the kids, ironing their school uniforms and doing the dishes. No one, least of all her, forces me to do any of these things. I enjoy doing stuff like these with her cos I enjoy being by her side always :) In fact almost everything that she does, I'd be there helping her. Sometimes she says I'm like her shadow ... LOL!

I'm just wondering what people think of this? Does doing stuff that's basically been perceived as a woman's/wife's job (actually I don't think there are any set rules here) make me less macho? (not that I ever was macho to begin with ... hehehe) I've known people who would say that men who do stuff like these are being 'queen controlled' and such rubbish. I have cousins whom I know would practically frown upon these things I do if they knew I do stuff like these. Some of my cousins (the male one's anyway) basically still have the mindset from my grandmothers time where men go to work and earn a living and women stay home and do all the household chores. For them it's, I work! you cook, clean and iron! Dinner must be ready for them when they get home, then after that it's time out with their friends while the wife stays home and look after the kids!!

So, what do you think? Do you think that it would make men less manly if they help out with the 'traditional' womens household chores at home? I for one definitely don't think so at all. I believe if you really love the person you're married to, you'd want to be by her side always and what better way to do this then helping with the chores :) Tell me what you think ... I'd really love to know. Besides I really couldn't care less if people think I'm a sissy man!!!


  1. I think you're absolutely sweet.

    And anyway both of you stay in that home so I really dun see why you shouldn't contribute. :P

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  3. [rant]

    This throwback of "it's a man's job to earn money and a woman's job to clean the house and raise the kids" is pretty messed up. It was obviously a guy who thought 40 hours of work each week was harder than the 168 required by a mom.

    As the eldest son, I had to help with all the chores in and out of the house. I was also responsible for cooking the meals every night and making sure everyone was done their homework. For the past ten years I've been living on my own and been responsible for 100% of the chores while also earning 100% of the household income.

    Work is hardly gender specific. People who still think "a woman's place is in the home" need to stop being so insecure about their own competencies and help with the dishes.


    It doesn't matter what other people think, because at the end of the day, you and your wife will have accomplished something together. When you look at the finished results you can take pride in the fact that you are able to work together as a team, and that is worth more than anything someone might think.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to scrub the bathtub :)

  4. u are what i would call, A Gentleman. Good job! It's hard to find man like you anymore. Your wife must have love you very much.. hehe. :)

    I think people especially man who thinks that doing or helping wt househse chores are only woman's job, are so outdated.

  5. Hi Nick, wifey is very lucky to have such a sweet, understanding and helpful man like u! :)

    Hubbs helps me out whenever he can, he understands that household chore is a shared thingy. But still, I would really prefer for us to get a helper later so we both will be more free, especially yours truly! ;)

  6. your wife so lucky to have you ,man who helps wife doing house chores is not sissy but a gentleman who is ringan tangan and being tolerate doing the house chores together and men who just goyang kaki and hoping the wife to do everything from cooking,laundry and all sorts of house chores by herself, now thats what we called chauvinistic pig!:)

  7. If a man does the woman's chores once a while, like on weekends, or helps the woman with her chores (like you did).. I'd call him a gentleman.

    But if a man does every woman's chores like drying the laundry, cook, clean the house, feed the pet, wash the dishes.. then he's been queen-controlled! LOL!

  8. I've always thought my SIL's were the luckiest gals in the world because my bro's always help with everything from the kids to the laundry. Hanging the laundry outside?? You must live in the The only laundry I saw hung outside was the Amish community the inhabited the country side outside Ft. Wayne!

  9. Nick, you are really a sweet hubby. Nice to have a understanding hub to help out in the household chores :)

  10. i hope and pray my husband to be will be as sweet and thoughtful as you.

  11. Nick, I really must introduce you to my husband. His favourite phrase is "Where's the food woman" which pretty sums up that I do everything that needs to be done in the house.

    We should start you on a talking circuit Nick :) Men really need to be educated more that simple little things can go a long way to making a harmonious relationship.

  12. Yeah Nick, sweet chap you are! Seriously, quite modern thinking on your part.

    I have to confess I am an MCP. Microsoft Certified Professional! LOL! I dunno which is worse. Being a chauvinist pig or selling my soul to the devil that is Bill Gates.

    I'm single.... but I have a dryer!

  13. When growing up my mom would make helping her do things like that fun so I never minded helping a girl do some chores. I was taught by great parents:)

  14. Bobo - Thanx and I agree that both shud contribute ...

    Knicksgrl0917 - Whoopee, my first spam message !!!!

    Jason, yup, you're absolutely right, work is never gender specific but some Neanderthals do still think it is ...

    Jean, thanx and I'm sure there's many more gentlemen out there la ...

    Marzie, good on your hubby! Two thumbs up for him :) And don't I wish we had a helper for the chores too ... LOL!

    Shana, you'd be surprised at how many male chauvinistic pigs I know. LOL!

    Cindy, thanx for the compliment:) I used to have a colleague who was queen controlled once. He had to go home right after work to cook for his wife ... LOL!

    Alphawoman - It's a common thing for us to hang our laundry outside cos we live in a sunny country. As for it being 'Amish'like, well, I'd rather have dry clothes than one smelling of mildew :)

    Janice, thanx. I do love helping the wife out cos it gives me more time to be with her :)

    Leia - I'm pretty sure you'll find a hubby who's a perfect gentleman :) Thanx for dropping by though.

    Sharon, Give your hubby my contact and I'll drill some sense into him. LOL!

    Hui Sen, being a male chauvinistic pig who sold his soul to Bill Gates would take the cake ... LOL!

    Bobby, great parents are always great role models :) I'm sure you'll be a pretty good husband to fine a fine young girl one day buddy ...

  15. hi nick, i hope you are done washing the dishes...(kidding) you are such a gentleman, if i were a woman i would definitely look for a hubby like yours, traditional sex roles are changing these days and it's happy to see husbands who pitch in with housework and wives who work outside the home, what a wonderplace it is to live for children who have parents working hand in hand to give them a good family and a good future^^

  16. I think its romantic Nick! You both share a home, kids, bills, love... why shouldn't you share the housework? It's part of a life together! :)


  17. "So, what do you think? Do you think that it would make men less manly...
    Nope, not at all!
    In fact you should be cloned, and then all of you sent out to conduct re-training seminars for the less well evolved of your gender! LOL

  18. Lordmanilastone - The roles are definitely changing, though I think not fast enuf. There are still many men out there who consider helping the wife not a manly thing. Thanx for dropping by though.

    Ann, That's what marriage is about, isn't it? Sharing the good, the bad and the ugly ... LOL!

    Lavender - Clone? Me? Could you get them to straighten my nose during the cloning process ... LOL!

  19. Your wife scored a good man. :)

  20. You are probably one of the best husbands on the planet! although I don't know how you manage without a dryer! I would be lost without my dryer!
    Good conversation starter! I don't think doing a chore that is normally associated as a female task should have any bearing on one's masculinity. In fact I think it makes you a better man for helping your wife out by hanging the laundry out to dry!
    Obviously for you, you do these things to show her how much you care! I know many of my friends who take their wives for granted, you respect the work she puts into making your house a home!
    In no way does it make you less manly to help out around the house! You are a good man Nick, a good man indeed!

  21. Hey Barrett, we're blessed with loads of sunshine (sometimes too much, I think) that I don't have the need for a dryer (well, unless it rains of cos, then I regret not having one).

    Thanx for the encouraging comments but the fact is there are still so many men out who still have that 'macho-can't-do-woman's-job' mindset!


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