Sigh!

Most of you would know that my cousin was hospitalized about a week ago for something that had the doctors perplexed. After doing tests and even a brain scan on him, they just couldn't get to the root of his problem which oftentimes left him contorted in pain.

It was so bad and scary at times looking at him that I thought he was possessed by something evil. I would like to thank all of you for your prayers and good wishes for him but unfortunately I would like to say it was all for nothing! No, no, he's alive but right now I am so PISSED at him that I wouldn't give two hoots if he was dead.

Yes, I know that's a bad thing to say but he bloody well deserves my anger. After some even furthers tests by the doctors, it's proven that he's back to his drug taking ways. I am absolutely disappointed with him right now. The saying 'a leopard never changes it's spots' sure rings true.

There we were all so worried about him. Practically fearing for his life and here he was back to his old ways. When questioned by the doctors and even us whether he was taking any drugs, he vehemently denied it. Said he was clean for years now. Even I believed that. I mean, I've seen him prior to this, he looked like he was getting back on track with his life.

He had a decent job (but I recently found out that he's been jobless for months) and everyone did their best to support him when he was trying his best to kick the habit. I wasn't one of them though but the rest of the family were there for him during his trying times. And to just crush the faith everyone has in him by going back to the habit is just not right.

I didn't even bother going to visit him anymore after my mom told me that what he was going through was because of withdrawal from not getting his fix. And there I thought he was being possessed, silly me. I feared and prayed for him for nothing. He's out of the hospital right now but as to what his condition really is, well to be honest, I don't give a damn anymore.

The next time anyone calls me and tells me he's in the hospital, I'll just say good for him cos at this point of time I'm very, very, very disappointed in him. I don't know whether it's easy or not to kick the drug habit cos I've NEVER in my entire life done anything so stupid but I know we all have a choice in what we do.

No one forced him to get involved with drugs in the first place. He was an intelligent young boy and he knew better than most what drugs do to people and yet he dived right it. He caused anguish to his parents. And even after he was caught and sent for rehabilitation, he went back to it for a time. And when we all thought he finally got his act together, he's back on it.

And as far as I'm concerned, it's his own doing. He just doesn't want to stop I guess. Like I said, everyone has a choice. If you really want to do something, no matter how difficult it is and how many obstacles you may face, you will be able to do. It all boils down to how badly you want to do something.

For the life of me, what do people get out of drugs anyway? A few hours of respite from their problems? A few hours of relieve from the realities of the world? A cool thing to do? I don't know.

Using drugs to escape your problems for a short while is something I cannot comprehend. After the delusional fantasies wear off, the problems are still going to be there right? And you're going to add to the problems you already have by getting addicted to drugs ... siggghhh ...

It would be so much better if you concentrated on starting up some coffee franchises instead. At least it's not so bad getting addicted to coffee ... LOL! But once again, thank you all for the wishes and prayers you sent his way.
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