I'm In Deep Shit!

I’m in total deep shit with wifey! I need to find a place to hide out from her for a while. Boy, if she gets her hands on me, I’m done for! Really, really done for! Really, I’m not kidding. I’m planning to run off and sign up with the French Foreign Legion to escape her wrath.

Ok, let me start from the beginning. This morning we were both doing the household chores like we always do on Saturdays. We normally split the chores with her doing the laundry and dusting and me doing the mopping and cleaning up the kitchen.

Now I got to the part where I was cleaning the dining table and I took the placemats from the table and went to wash then in the bathroom cos they looked a little dull. The placemats had a nice leafy green pattern to it. Notice I mentioned the word ‘had’.

There I was happily scrubbing the placemats with a piece of sponge and noticed that the placemats started looking nice and white. Wow, I didn’t know they were that dirty. So I ran upstairs to grab the brush we had in our bathroom and enthusiastically told wifey that she must see the placemats after I scrub them cos they’re going to look gleaming white.

Then I proceeded to run back down and thoroughly scrub the placemats. They started turning white and at that point I started panicking cos they were literally turning white and by white I mean the darn colour was coming off! And they were one of wifeys favourite placemats even.

Now in a state of panic I stop scrubbing the things and wifey just had to walk into the kitchen at that time. I can’t even make up some silly excuse like the dog did it or something. So I look at her, give her a sheepish smile and say,

‘Urmm sayang, you know how I said the placemats were going to look white and gleaming? Weeeeeeelllll, they are white and gleaming, it’s just that … urrrmmm … that’s all they are cos the green leafy patterns are all washed off!’

She looks at me, looks at the placemats and then she gives me the ‘eye’! Now, let me tell you something about wifey. You don’t ever want her to give you the eye. I would have rather she screamed at me, beat the crap out of me, hit me on the head with a rolling pin, break my an arm or two even but not the ‘eye’! Anything but the ‘eye’!

Now that was when I wanted to run away and join the French Foreign Legion or some Greenpeace movement somewhere … LOL! The boys and me have been on the receiving end of the ‘eye’ on occasions (well, the boys get it more than me, thank the Lord … LOL) and let me tell you it’s not a good feeling. We rather she give us an earful anytime rather than the eye.

And to get myself off her ‘eye’ list I had to promise to buy a new pair of placemat for her tomorrow. Phew, at least that I can handle. Good thing she didn’t ask for something more expensive like Polar watches or even a diamond ring … LOL!

I think from now on I’d better practice using my wee little brain a little more before I go running to her and boasting about how I’m going to do something spectacular. I can take a lot but I most definitely cannot take the ‘eye’! LOL!
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