Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Sigghhh ...

This is going to be a depressing post so if you're not planning on having your day spoilt by hearing me bitch, then I'd advise you not to read on. There, don't say I didn't warn you. If you end up being depressed too, then you only have yourself to blame for being pig headed and reading this post :D

I'm a happy go lucky kinda guy. I don't really bother too much about things. For me, it's always let's leave tomorrows problem for tomorrow and live for today. But lately I've been thinking a lot (which is a small miracle to begin with) about life, about work, about what an Ugg is, about the family, about where I am in the bigger scheme of things and mostly whether I'm really satisfied with life.

And the answer is a big fat NO! Now don't get me wrong. I'm happy that I have a nice loving wife and two bratty kids. They mean the world to me. I'm thankful that I have a roof over my head. I'm thankful that I have a job. I'm thankful that I'm able to put food on the table.

But something is still missing. These days its become a chore just to wake up and go to work. I don't look forward to it anymore. I work hard, no doubts I do bum off once in a blue moon (who doesn't), but I do work my ass off. In fact I think I do more work than the entire office put together. I go way out of my job scope and do things that I'm not supposed to do all for the sake of helping the company.

But then I have staff working here who are really good for nothing, take leave whenever they like and don't turn up for work when it suits their fancy and leave all their work for others (namely me) to do. I could just as easily say, hey that's not my work so why should I do it, but then that would mean unfair to clients who actually pay to get their work done.

What they don't realize is that if the clients stop coming, then we wouldn't have money to pay their salary and it's not like we're doing all too well at the moment. And I'm the type of person who is passionate about my work. Which makes me even more depressed to see things like these happening. As good a friend my boss is to me, he's way to lenient with people that they tend to walk all over his head. But what can I do? I'm only a staff here as well.

Is this all really worth it? Working my ass off while others just take things easy? Am I really the stupid one? Working so hard and not really getting what I truly deserve? As it is I think I'm way underpaid. When it comes to work I'm really depressed. I used to enjoy coming to work. In fact I even look forward to it.

Not anymore. I wish I was rich enough to just quit, get myself a country side home fronting a lake and just live off the land in blissful peace. No worrying about useless people, no worrying about deadlines. Of course there has to be broadband connection. The other thing I'm passionate about is blogging. But right now, it's all just foolish dreams.

As it is making ends meet every month is getting harder and harder and there I am dreaming of retiring in some country side home ... siggghhh ... Maybe one day when I can open up my own business then I could probably earn a lot more than what I'm earning today and would some day afford that dream country side retirement home.

My good buddy also feels the same about work. He's as fed-up with it as I am and we've been talking for some time about opening up a business of our own together. I won't go into the details though we know what business we want to do and have set a specific year end or early next year target to get it running. We're both kinda excited about it and maybe that would turn out to be the missing piece in my life right now. Something to keep my mind off the depressing state of things these days.

But through all this depression I feel about life in general, I'm glad that wifey is there to help me through it. She doesn't say much (she doesn't need to) but the mere fact that she understands what I'm going through helps me get through these drab days a little easier. Right now, she's the brightest spark in my life and all I look forward to the entire day is to head home to her.

I hope tomorrow is a much better day!
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44 comments:

  1. That's one long post. *guilty as charge. I'm categorize as the lazy bums. Just becoz I dislike my job. LOL and I'm not fond of the parking too. That's why it took me longer to get to work. What usually is a 8am sharp becomes a 9am or 10am start working hours for me.

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  2. Hey Nick... you're not the only one who's depressed about work. Seeing that you don't know me personally, I'll share with you this story...

    In the whole month of July, I'd be crying intermittently while I was at work... first I thought it was just chemical instability, but one day it hit me that it was being at the workplace itself. I've written a couple of blog posts but never published them because they were so pathetic. That day I went for lunch with my boss, and she revealed the same thing as well. To be honest, I don't know how to overcome this feeling of depression, but I am determined to make August a much happier month!

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  3. Maslight - LOL! I didn't mean you la. The girl in my office is really useless. She acts like she's the boss, always taking leave unannounced, treating customers badly that sometimes I seriously feel like smacking her la.

    Going to work late, that's understandable if you're living far from your work place but this girl just lives two roads away from the office la!

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  4. Come by my blog to pick up an award. I hope you can pass it on to others.

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  5. Terra Shield - Thanks for sharing. Same here, I really don't know how to overcome this depressive feeling at work. It's really energy sapping to be feeling like this all day. I'm only happy when I'm home. And when morning comes, I get depressed again. I hope August will be a better month too, for all of us ...

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  6. Zen - Whoa, an award :D Thanks. I've always loved awards :D Will drop by and pick it up soon.

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  7. You're welcome. I know it looks girlish but maybe with your talents in advertising maybe you can retouch it to look more macho-like. Btw how can I become yr blog follower without opening a yahoo account?

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  8. it's good to know that the one thing that still sparks your life is your family. :)

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  9. i hope August is better to you. Good thing you have a wonderful person to come back to... and a Pebbles too. Sometimes its depressing when you seem to be the only one working hard while the rest is bumping off.. but sometimes.. working hard might have its rewards in the long run :)

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  10. Who's that girl in ur office la, I think u shld smack her silly! ;)

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  11. Cheer up Nick, sounds like u and ur buddy are on the right track towards being your own boss, until then hang in there and imagine all the good things u can enjoy once ur a billionaire he he! :)

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  12. Thinking of retirement already? :)

    Working life can be a challenge.

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  13. life can be cruel sometimes don't you think so?? hmmm...sometimes, it's better to be the boss than the worker...that's the stress at the work place...uhh i'll be in a new workplace sooner..hmm i don't know how it will be..i guess its the resistant to change..scary ..........

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  14. We all have the up and down!
    Happiness is the creation of our own self.
    When we are not happy, we evevn need to find ways to balance it!
    Talking about work, there are always a black sheep in the office, at least one.....!
    There are no solutions on these....
    I guess we all feel the same.

    I just hope with blogging you can release your tension and worries.

    Cheers,
    yoon See

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  15. Wahhh, ur colleague damn kick one. House so near @_@ my house is like 30 mins if no jam XD ancus.

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  16. Here Here!! I second the motion! Life has got to be more than work! Just wish there was a better way to pay the bills!! Cheer up bud!

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  17. I understand why you're so stressed out, especially being the workhorse of the company. I wish you all the best for opening up your own company and may you be a millionaire soon heheh.

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  18. Somehow, u managed to hit it right on the nail.

    For the past couple of months, i have been feeling about the same as u, too. About work, about life, etc.

    I'm so scared that i tot i was going into depression. But this depressed feeling lasted a few days whenever it hits me. And for the next few weeks, i would feel better. It's like PMS, i can't really say what was the cause, it just comes on every month. Weird huh? Hmmm ...

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  19. Zen - Girlish or not girlish, an award is an award :D Thanks for it.

    Urmmm, I'm not really sure about the follower thingy, let me check and get back to you.

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  20. Gallivanter - Ass Whopping. Somehow you made that sound kinky ... hahaha!

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  21. Carol - My family means the world to me. And no matter what happens to me outside, when I'm home, I'm all smiles :D

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  22. Anny - I'm hoping for a better August too :D Yes, that's one thing I'm thankful for, having someone to look forward to when I come home. It takes the days stress away :D And yes, Pebbles too ... hehehe ... She's also always eager to see me come home :D

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  23. Argentum Vulgaris - But it was already Tuesday when I wrote that post and my day was still horrible ... siggghhh ...

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  24. Marzie - Trust me, I really feel like smacking her silly la!

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  25. Marzie - LOL! A billionaire huh? That's gonna take us a long time to achieve. Right now, I'll settle for some satisfaction in life ...

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  26. Mei Teng - To be honest, I am :D Really fed up with having to work so hard and nothing to show for it ...

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  27. Sweet-Girlicious - Yeah, being your own boss really is the best way to go, but then that comes with completely new set of problems ...

    All the best in your new job :D

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  28. Yoon See - Yeah, I guess you're right. There always is someone useless in every office.

    Besides wifey, blogging is the only keeping me sane ... hehehe ...

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  29. Anny - Ugg! You Like? Ugg, I have no idea what it means anyway ... hahaha!

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  30. Maslight - Yeah, just a couple of roads away and she comes in late everyday ...

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  31. Adrian - Hey, future business partner :D Yes, there really has to be more to life than working your butt off!

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  32. Ugg..boots :D that's why i know.. haha

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  33. Bem - LOL! Thanks buddy. I'm hoping I'll be a millionaire soon too :D

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  34. Homely Guy - It's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I don't think it'll ever come to the depression stage for me but I know what you mean. I'm hoping things will pick you soon :D

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  35. Anny - LOL! I'm sure you're the expert on boots :D

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  36. I know exactly what you mean. Some people just don't have the right working attitude, they "float by", hoping for the best. Setting yourself up for your own business is the right way to go, I'll have to say. If I were to live in Malaysia now, I'll open a mee goreng store at the corner and lead a peaceful life.

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  37. The Real Mother Hen - Hey, that mee goreng store sounds bloody good la. Make sure you let me know cos I'll be the first in line ... hehehe ...

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  38. Start a business. Go for it. Make it work. Do or die, make it work. But make sure you enough cash to roll for a year.

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  39. Big Pumpkin - Cash to roll for a year, now that's something I could really do with :D

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  40. Why are your colleagues like that? No wonder you're so fed-up! Maybe the boss is too lax? Perhaps what you need is new blood. Get rid of those who are not serious and bring in some enthusiastic workers.

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  41. BT - That's what I've been trying to drill into my boss head. It's time we look for more committed people. The thing is he's a little too lenient with people. I think I shout and scream at the people in my office more than he does ... LOL!

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