Ok, ok, I know it's not safe to beat red lights but there wasn't any cars around and I was in a hurry and I should have been hauled up to court and summoned a billion dollars and all that but hey, we all commit crimes once in a while!
And besides I'm calling myself a moron for the entire day and you can too, I mean call me a moron that is and not yourself ... hahaha! But at least I managed to get away without being issued a summons. Being in client service sure helped me talk my way out of getting a summons
So there I was happily going through a red light and drive right smack into an oncoming police patrol car who indicates for me to pull over.
'Crap!' I think.
I pull over and the cop comes over to me but before he can even say anything, I start my entire plea bargaining routine. The entire conversation below was conducted in Bahasa Malaysia but for the benefit of my non malay speaking reader, I translated it to English.
Me: (reaching for wallet to retrieve my ID and driving license) 'I know I beat a red light and I was wrong to do it , sir.'
Cop: (looks a little flustered cos I didn't give him a chance to speak) 'License and ID please.'
I hand him my license and ID and step out the car.
Cop: 'What's the hurry?'
Me: 'No hurry sir, I was just wrong and I should be summoned' (putting up a pathetic sorrowful look)
Cop: 'Urmmm ... where were you going?'
Me: 'Going to the office, sir. I'm already late and my boss doesn't like latecomers.'
Cop: 'Ok, you know I can summons you right?'
Me: 'Yes sir, I know and I will accept whatever summons you hand out.'
Cop: 'Urmmm ... you don't want me to help you, ah?'
Me: 'Help sir? No, I don't deserve any help, I deserved to be punished for beating the lights. Issue me a summons sir and I'll pay the consequences.'
He looks at me weirdly and then ooks at his partner. All the while I had this really remorseful look that made me look like I was going to cry ... hahaha!
Cop: 'Urmmmm ...'
Me: 'Go ahead sir, give me a summons, I was wrong and I deserve to be punished.'
Cop: 'But the summons for beating a red light is RM250-RM300, you sure you want to be issued one'
Me: (Gulps) 'Yes sir, while I know RM250-RM300 is a huge chunk of my salary, I'll pay for my crimes and try to survive the whole month with what little money I have left' (drooping head real low).'
Cop: 'Urmmm ... Urmmm ... (hands me back my license and ID), I think I'll let you off this time. Next time don't beat the lights anymore.'
Me: 'Really? (eyes wider than a frightened deer). Oh thank you sir, thank you, thank you, thank you. I have learned my lesson.'
Then I grab my license and ID and quickly walk to my car, trying to keep a straight face, drive off as fast as the speed limit would allow and check to see if the patrol car is following me or not and when I'm absolutely sure he isn't, I burst out laughing at my act of being pathetic.
I think he's never experienced anyone so willing to be summons that he just didn't know what to do. I think he was more interested in taking advantage of the situation (if you know what I mean) and the fact that I was so willing to be punished threw him off and let me off the hook. LOL!
I know that still doesn't excuse me from beating the lights though. I've always been one to criticize people who commit wrongs and here I am doing just that. I always knew my client service acting skills would come in handy one day ... hahaha ...
Oh and another thing, I think our police officers here need to be taking some fat burners cos this one looked like he couldn't chase after a fleeing criminal even if his life depended on it!