Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Rules For Work

I came across this rules for work thing and I found it to be pretty funny yet strangely ‘accurate’ with some of the things that happen to me at work :)

  • Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00pm and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. (this never fails to happen to me!)
  • If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
  • Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. (I'm guilty of doing this myself ... LOL)
  • If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
  • If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.
  • Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work. (Another true fact!)
  • If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
  • If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
  • If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information. (How many times has this happened to me .. grooaann)
  • Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
  • Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's heaven.
  • Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
  • Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway. (How true ...)

6 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha .... love #5 the best! :)

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  2. Yup...I agree with those, pretty much how it works at my place of employment

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  3. Marzie - yeah, you have to be psychic to be working in advertising. LOL!

    Diamond - It's the same in everyone's office, I think ... :)

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  4. Ha ha ha...Wow..!! It's soooo true, isn't it...

    Whoever that created that 'is' living in a reality world.

    Regards,
    -mr.ular-
    http://funnyjokesworld.blogspot.com

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  5. I showed this to a good friend. She laughed herself silly.

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  6. Hey Hui Sen, glad your friend enjoyed it :)

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