Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Life And Times Of A City Dweller ...

I'm not cut out for hard labour. Well, not for long periods of time anyway. Yesterday, I decided to trim the mango tree in my front yard cos it was getting a little bit unruly and was encroaching into my Neanderthal neighbours yard. From my previous mango tree experiences with him, I decided to get it trimmed before he starts complaining that the leaves are falling into his place again.

Now normally I would get a gardener to trim the tree for me. But I thought why not save some money and trim whatever parts of the tree I could reach, especially the side that was in the neigbours yard. And besides they do charge quite a bit for trimming the tree and with the cost of everything going up, I wasn't prepared to waste good amounts of money, especially this close to the month end when I need every single cent that I have otherwise I'm probably going to have to get one of those online payday loans to last me until pay day! So I boastfully told wifey I'll do it myself.

I took out my trusty old ladder. You didn't expect me to actually try and climb that tree now did you? I'm not really good at climbing trees though my best buddy calls me monkey boy all the time! LOL! There I was with my ladder and trusty chopper (I'm not some serial killer who owns machetes now, okay, so a chopper it was!), I begin hacking away at the branches. Now these branches weren't really thick I tell you but after hacking at them for a whole 5 minutes, yes 5 minutes (a whole 300 seconds!) my arms start aching like crazy, I was out of breath and I was sweating like a human waterfall!

I turned around to see where wifey was and there she was, observing her *ahem, ahem* supposedly macho and manly husband struggling with great difficulty trying to trim a mango tree! LOL! She looks at me with this look of disbelieve on her face and goes:

'Don't tell me you're tired already?'

'Yeah honey, it's hard work, you know!' I replied.

'But it's only been 5 minutes since you started and you've still got lots more to trim!' She replied.

'What? You mean, this is not enough? It looks okay to me ...' I countered.

'No honey it's not and since you're already there, trim the ones on the other side and also the ones slightly above you, not forgetting the ones behind you'
she persisted.

'But honey, there are tons of black ants crawling all over the tree not to mention on my body and some of them think my body is a buffet or something cos they're biting me! I say.

'It's only black ants dear, and black ants don't bite'
She says ever so sweetly.

Yeah, sure they don't. I'm only imaging the little critters feasting on me ... LOL! Ok, That's when I think maybe I should have just kept my big boastful mouth shut about trimming the tree myself and just get a gardener to do it. Next time I'll know better ... LOL! And so there I was totally out of breath with wifey standing in the porch like some prison warden to make sure I didn't bail out and with the ants having a grand time biting every inch of my body, I start to chop and hack the remaining branches that she indicated.

And finally after an eternity, well, 20 minutes or so to be exact but it sure felt like an eternity to me, I was done. And you should have seen the amount of leaves and branches I chopped up. It looked like a mini mountain. I was too darn tired to do anything about it, so I left it for my mom to clear later. Mom just didn't know it yet cos she wasn't home and as long as I wasn't home when she came back and saw the mess I made, then I probably could get away with it .... LOL! I don't think I could lift another finger to clean up the place!


I guess I'm not really cut out for hard labour. I was born in the city and have been a city boy all my life unlike wifey who hails from a smaller town and is more in tune to hard work. I was a spoiled and pampered brat remember? I had everything done for me and it was only later in life that I actually had to do stuff on my own. Errrr, don't get me wrong. I can do hard labour if the need required it to, god knows I do hard labour at work all the time ... LOL! It's just that I'm not used to doing it too much! My body ached liked crazy the next day, in fact it's still aching right now. My right arm feels like someone took a hammer and whacked it.

It's really weird though, I can run for miles and not feel achy or out of breath at all, but trimming a simple tree just leaves me totally beat and feeling my age! I think I've just been spoilt silly by city life and paying people to do things when in fact I could be doing them myself. Maybe I wouldn't be so lazy if I actually did go outside and do some hard labour like mow the lawn or something once in a while. I mean, I do help out with household chores and all that but that's not really hard labour.

'What do you mean not really hard labour!' shouts wifey

Ok, ok, that's hard labour too honey ... LOL! But I'm talking about the more labour intensive work that requires strength and all that. Not that I'm a weakling, but I think I'd rather pay someone to do those things from now on. It would at least save me the aches I'm feeling all over right now! LOL!

39 comments:

  1. My husband loves playing with the chainsaw....any excuse to use it. LOL

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  2. Sometimes it is best to leave the job to expert! Heheheh! Now your tree looks very weird with 1 side "botak"! Hahaha!

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  3. *laughs* At least you tried right?

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  4. I know how hard it is cos sometimes I trim the small trees in my yard. Gosh, it's really tiring!

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  5. Tammy - Your husband has a chainsaw? Darn, I hate the man already ... LOL!

    I could have sure used one yesterday :)

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  6. Rose - LOL! Yeah, it does look a little strange now! I'm actually getting someone to trim it again this weekend :D

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  7. Haizum - Yeah, at least I tried, not that I'm going to try again, mind you ... LOL!

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  8. BT - Ah, someone who understands my pain ... LOL! It is extremely tiring. Give me running anytime!

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  9. haha... Acting all macho for the wifey eh... next time get someone to do it and you act macho while ordering him around..ok...lolzz!!

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  10. I was like that for a little while, too, so I can certainly relate.

    What I did to get around this was to start wearing extra weight around my wrists when I go jogging. It's amazing what an extra two kilos per arm can do when you're jogging for five kilometers every day.

    Don't give up on the chores yet, Nick. You still have several years to go before retirement and the obligatory garden maintenance :P

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  11. Lady Java - Hey, that is a good idea ... LOL! Of cos la have to act macho in front of wifey, don't want her thinking I'm some softy boy or something ... LOL!

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  12. Jason - What do you mean by obligatory garden maintenance? I though I could sleep all day long when I retire ... LOL!

    I used to run with weights at one time long ago but gave it up. The weight from my stomach more than makes up for it ... LOL!

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  13. I like how the wife stood behind you to make sure you completed the job!! That sounds like me and the H! :-P

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  14. Hubby has a knack for gardening. Got the bug from his dad. Since I was from a small town too, I don't mind doing some of the dirty work also. Just 3 weeks ago I helped him cut down a tree. Numbed my arm, but it was fun being there with him.

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  15. oh my...your tree looks like it has lost an arm!! haha..yeah, I think its a good idea to get the gardener to 'better' your work of art! ;p

    But I think spoilt brat or not, am sure your wifey still finds you 'macho'! haha...

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  16. Poor tree! It looks "cacat" a bit already. lol

    But hey, at least you know how to cut a tree! My friend's bf couldn't handle a chainsaw, let alone cut a tree! (I mean, branch). Hahahah!

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  17. Looks like you've cut the other side of the tree, lol! Now it's amputated. Better leave it to the gardener next time, hahaa...

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  18. Jillian - She knew I'd try to weasel my way out of it, so she made sure I stuck it out ... LOL!

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  19. lxndreasb - Well, good for your hubby. I basically have the knack for sleeping ... LOL! For me I'd rather let someone else who is more efficient than I am do these things ... I'll just stick to blogging, safer and less tiring ... LOL!

    Welcome to Anything Goes! by the way.

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  20. Aunty J - Yeah, it does look a little retarded now doesn't it? LOL!

    What to do, I don't have the skills for this kind of work. I'm definitely getting someone to trim in this weekend maybe so I can concentrating on improving my macho image with wifey ... LOL!

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  21. Ethel - LOL! Cacat it definitely is!

    Well, I don't blame your friends BF, cos I don't think I could handle a chainsaw myself ... LOL!

    I wonder if Edward Scissorhands is available this weekend ... :D

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  22. Marlene - LOL! Amputated, now that's a good term. Don't worry, my days with tree trimming has come to an end. I'm going to get the gardener to work on it in future :D

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  23. Nick,
    The magic word to DIY trimming of trees, CHAINSAW!
    But great job anyways, at least for trying and lasting 5 minutes!

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  24. geee!you did a great job buddy!I don't think my hubby can trim a tree.Not bad!at least you did a great workout.:)

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  25. Jen - Urmmm, where in heaven's name was I going to find a chainsaw la? LOL! I would love to get my hands on one though :D

    But yes, I did get my 5 minutes (well, a little more than 5 minutes) worth of exercise though ... hahaha ...

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  26. Sweetiepie - Thank you :D Yeah, I was so tired after that, that I canceled my running session in the evening ... hehehe ...

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  27. Come to think of it, hey Nick! You can actually put a swing under that "amputated" tree! You just need a rope and a block of wood.

    Your neighbor would be jealous tu.. :P

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  28. At least you tried lah Nick.

    Your 'work of art'...reminds me of half botak head. LOL!
    Did you do the lawn too? Very clean oh.

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  29. Yay! Congrats on yer beautiful work of art! You should be so proud of yourself! Want a star? :P

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  30. Nick, sorry but when I read this post I remember Donald Duck comics... you both are the same!!!!

    Whenever Donald tried to do something instead of paying someone to have something well done he got a lot of trouble! Everything went wrong! LOL

    Saving money is always good but sometimes...

    I never do something I'm not get used to, so I would rather not get into troubles!

    Nick, what happenend with you is very funny!!!! :o)

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  31. Ethel - Hey that is a good idea la. Instead of a block of wood, I could like use a tyre. I've always wanted one and now you've just given me a great idea. Thanks a bunch, Cindy ... :D

    Now if only that branch can hold my weight ... LOL!

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  32. Carol - Work of art, I like the sound of that ... LOL!

    No la, the lawn I paid someone to do la, too much of hard work is bad for me ... LOL!

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  33. Rozella - A star? You mean I can get a star for that? Darn, why didn't anyone tell me about this? LOL!

    And urmmm, would asking for 2 stars be too much? hahaha ...

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  34. Cidao - LMAO! Donald duck, now that's really funny but you do have a point there :D

    The things is I'm a little adventurous at times and will try to do things by myself first. Only after I screw it up, I'll call for help! LOL!

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  35. The Tree and the Arseh.... ummm, Neighbour Drama keeps going on and on!

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  36. Kesian ur mommy had to clean up ur mess! ;)

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  37. Hui Sen - LOL! The drama never stops buddy :D

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  38. Marzie - LOL! Yeah, Mommy had to clean up the mess ... I was just too beat to do anymore work la ...

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