Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I've Got To Be A Macho Man ...

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Macho, macho man (macho man)

I've got to be a macho man

Macho, macho man

I've got to be a macho! Ow ...


That's how the chorus of the song Macho Man by the Village People goes. And while I endevour to be as macho as I possibly can most of the times, I don't think I'll ever qualify to be a full fledge macho man! Not in this lifetime anyway.

While I'm not really afraid of much things, there is one thing that absolutely freaks me out. And that's creepy crawlies. Spiders to be exact. Oh and beetles too. And urrmm, cockroaches also. I'm absolutely, positively terrified of them. I know they're small and practically harmless but they freak me out nonetheless.

A few days back, the family and me were going out for lunch or was that dinner, I can't remember already. There I was driving and merrily singing along to the tunes from the radio when all of a sudden I notice this speck on my windshield.

Now, this speck was actually moving and I take a closer look to see what it is. And it turns out to be an itsy bitsy spider on the inside of my windshield staring back at me! Well, maybe he wasn't staring but it sure felt like it. You should have heard me scream (and it was a scream that would have put a true blue woman to shame ... LOL!).

Wifey and the boys are startled and looked at me. There I was in the midst of driving with my whole body turning rigid from fright and without moving my head, I whisper (so I wouldn't startle the spider into action) to wifey that there is a spider on my windshield right in front of me.

Wifey looks at me, asks me why I'm whispering, then looks at the itsy bitsy spider on the windshield, slaps her forehead, rolls her eyes and looks up to the heavens and says,

'Oh my god, that tiny thing? It's not going to eat you la honey ...'

'Shush, don't speak so loud, it might just jump on me ...'
I reply.

'What utter nonsense!' she says

She tells me to just leave it be and it'll go away. Yeah, right. The bloody monstrous (well, to me anyway) thing was right smack in front of me and giving me the eye and it wasn't going anywhere in the near future. Besides, it just might decide to head somewhere else in my car and jump on my leg or something.

I plead with wifey to please get rid of the spider. She says she can't do anything just yet cos I'm still driving and I'd have to wait until we stop at a traffic light or something. I had half a mind to stop right there in the middle of the main road!

So there I was gripping the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles start turning white, sitting as far back as my body will go in my car seat, body taut with fear, one eye on the spider and one on the road waiting for the chance to stop the car.

We finally come to a traffic light where we have to stop and I scream at my wifey again to quickly get the darn thing off. Now, let me tell you something about that girl, she's the brave one in the family when it comes to things like this. Even the boys are cowards like me. She reaches over and tries to grab the spider (with her bare hands mind you!) and the spider starts jumping here and there trying to avoid capture.

I scream in fear that it might jump on me and the boys hearing me scream join in too. Soon we have everyone in the car screaming like mad fools (save for wifey) until she finally manages to capture the spider and throw it out the window. All three 'men' in the car are finally relieved but totally shaken from the ordeal ... LOL!

And that isn't the only time wifey has come to our rescue. Even at home, when we see a cockroach, beetle or spider, we'll be screaming her name to come save us ... LOL! I really have a phobia of creepy crawlies and spiders are way up there at number one on my list. I don't mind slimy worms, rampaging elephants, man eating tigers, Chicago accident attorney's (LOL!) but not creepy crawlies like spiders, cockroaches and beetles!

Thank god for wifey, the brave warrior princess of all things creepy and crawly. I'd probably die of fright if she wasn't around! See, with a phobia like that how to be a macho man, you tell me?
.

45 comments:

  1. LOL I really cannot understand why some men could be such a scaredy cat with creepy crawlies! I have a friend, a policeman and a tough man, mind you - who's afraid of cicak. When a lizard drops on the floor, he'd scream and squeal like a girl!

    Thank God for us brave woman, huh? :P

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  2. Nothing to be ashamed about. After all, it was a SPIDER, a small itsy-bitsy, tiny, little spider but a spider nonetheless right?

    *sniggers*

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  3. wahhh now you got that song stuck in head hehehee :)

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  4. Cockroaches scares me a lot! I scream like a woman...

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  5. You should see my hubby around a bee...it's quite hilarious actually! LOL

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  6. Hehe, can imagine three screaming males in the car and wifey is like cat woman, catching spider! I'm usually the one tasked to catch spiders and roaches too. Spiders are ok but I hate those flying big cockroaches.

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  7. I'm not afraid of creepy crawlies, I tend to squash them when I get the chance, though I prefer to stay away.

    I used to have phobias about flying cockroaches. I don't really have a phobia now, except maybe snakes, but that too after I smashed a 4ft cobra on its head with a hoe. I've been afraid since then. Eeek.

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  8. hahah...glad you wife is a brave woman...ehhehh...well me too.. i have a phobia with small2 creatures especially something that can fly..ehheh like bees...ooo i'm scare of that

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  9. Cindy - You should have seen how big that itsy bitsy spider was la ... it was monstrous la! LOL!

    Well, I know I'm not the only one cos my best buddy is also the same gang as me ... hehehe ...

    I think that's why men get married, they need some brave woman to protect them ... LOL!

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  10. Perry - It was a HUGE itsy bitsy spider la ... The spider to beat all spiders ... LOL!

    And a man has got to do what a man has got to do and that is scream for help from wifey ... LOL!

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  11. hahahahha..hahhaaha..hahahaa... gosh, if m at home i'm sure i will be laughing my head off already!

    But im in the office now...cant do that unless if i want my colleagues to think im a nut case woman,LOL! Hence my long hahahahahahah.

    "Whisper" i think they some of them do think im a nut case cos i giggle and smile every now and then(alone)when i blog hop,like now. Yikes!

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  12. Empty Streets - LOL! I was humming that tune all day after posting it too ...

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  13. Cidao - LOL! At least I'm not the only one ...

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  14. Tammy - Oooo, I forgot about a bee! I'm afraid of those too ... LOL! I'm paint a pretty hilarious picture too :D

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  15. BT - Oh yeah, we were like little girls screaming in the car ... LOL!

    The flying cockroaches are even worse. I'd run like maniac if I ever saw one ... hehehe ...

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  16. Gallivanter - You whacked a cobra? You da man la! :D

    I'm not that freaked out by snakes though, as long as they don't come near me ...

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  17. Sweet-Girlicious - My wife is a lifesaver la. Without her around to rescue me from these creepy crawlies, I'd be in a mental asylum by now ... LOL!

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  18. Emelda - LOL! I know how that feels. I sometimes laugh out loud in the office too and my colleagues always give me this weird look like I'm crazy or something ... hehehe ...

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  19. You crack me up Nicola...er sorry I mean...Nick. LOL....

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  20. hahahhahahahah!!!! Its only a spider lah nick!! Thank god, we women usually the brave one. Usually at home, i was the one who will catch the roches, lizard, beetles, bees or whatever scary insect came into our house. Hmm..my hubby give 100 excuses not to catch those insects..

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  21. Gypsy - LOL! With the way I was screaming in the car, Nicola wouldn't have been too bad a a name ...

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  22. Kadus Mama - But it was a HUGE itsy bitsy spider, you know ... LOL!

    Oh, I don't give any sort of excuses, I just scream my head off for wifey to come save me ... hahaha ...

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  23. I don't blame you for acting that way with spiders hehehe...

    When I was learning to drive (the part where you learn to use the handbreaks on the hillslope), I saw a spider on the dashboard. I screamed & I jumped out of the car... leaving my instructor in the car with the handbreak released! Lol!

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  24. Perky - I'll bet the poor instructor was traumatized for life ... hahaha ...

    It must have looked like a Mr. Bean moment with the car rolling down the slope ... LOL!

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  25. WAHAHAHAH!!!! Oops, I should not laugh but that is really funny!! Trying to imagine a grown man and 2 boys screamin n jumping crazy in the car at traffic light! What a spectator u guys must have made for the car bhind u!!! HAHAAHAHAH

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  26. hahahhaha...omg Nick! luckily, you've a brave warrior princess :-D LOL!

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  27. Ha that's funny. Well, everyone has to be afraid of something right? I bet even the most macho man on earth has some deep fear and a sensitive side :)

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  28. Hahahaha Nick, that song is a gay anthem lah! So no need also for you to jaga macho! :P

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  29. Batteris - First of all, welcome to my blog :D

    Well, it wasn't so hilarious being on the receiving end of a HUGE spider ... LOL!

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  30. Jen - Yeah, I'll bet the people in the car behind were probably wondering was was going on with all of us jumping up and down in my car ... LOL!

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  31. Monica - Yeah, thank god I had my warrior princess in the car with me or I'd have freaked out ... hehehe ...

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  32. The Real Mother Hen - Hey, first of all welcome to my blog :D

    Yeah, you're right there. I know a few people who are afraid of butterflies even ... LOL!

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  33. Meleah - But you're a girl. Men are supposed to just squash critters like these ... hehehe ...

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  34. Rozella - LOL! Thanks for pointing that one out. Guess you're right, no need to jaga macho la macam tu ... LOL!

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  35. ^5 to your wife!
    i am like her, not really afraid of these creepy crawlies, infact, i enjoy trapping them into little plastic container, keep for a few days....some unfortunately die...some strong ones live.

    i have had small little spider, roach, beetle and even snails....that was a long long time ago.

    one day soon, i will catch these crawlies again with my son and that would be so much fun!!

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  36. Hi Nick! I don mind spiders or cockroaches, cause can just zap them with Ridsect, but lizards (Mr. L) are my enemy la wei! Aiyo....some more look like small crocs like dat, so Mr. L will make me run a mile if I see any nearby YUCKS! :(

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  37. Hehehe! The instructor was surprisingly cool about the whole thing... of coz I was the butt joke among the group of instructors! :)

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  38. You are lucky to have a wife who is not afraid of creepy crawlies. Imagine if both of you are afraid, will you all just abandon your car in the middle of the road? Haha!

    For me, spiders are not too bad, but I hate cockroaches! They are ugly, filthy and smelly! : )

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  39. Adeline - Yeah, high 5 to wifey too ... LOL!

    You actually kept creepy crawlies in containers? And you're a girl some more ... LOL!

    I've always been afraid of these tiny critters! My sympathies to your son ... LOL!

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  40. Marzie - Hahaha ... you actually have a nickname for lizards? MR. L lagi tu ... cool la. I'm okay with lizards, I have few resident lizards in my how that I've given them names already too ... hehehe ...

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  41. Perky - I'll bet you were ... LOL! I won't be surprised they even made a new rule about what not to do when you're on a slope ... hahaha ...

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  42. Foongpc - Hey, we just might have you know ... hahaha ... But yeah, thank god for my own personal warrior princess :D

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