Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Mother's Tale

It's been almost a week since I last wrote a post. And it's not because I don't have anything to post. I've just been swamped with work and my back is still acting up on and off so much so that I can't sit in front of the computer for too long. I've gotten some strong pain killers for it so that helps a little.

Anyways, that really isn't what I wanted to talk about today. I didn't really want to get online today cos the pain in my back is a little extra painful today but I just had to get online and rant a little.

I'm a person who takes great care with my stuff. It doesn't matter what it is but I'll take great pains to keep my things as clean and as new as I possibly can. In fact I'm so particular about things to the point of being obsessive at times. It bugs the heck out of wifey sometimes. But then she's like me too at times. We're both very particular and passionate about our things.

Take for instance my laptop. I'm so fussy with it that I'm forever cleaning it and warning the boys to stay as far away from it as possible. I'll always keep an eye on them whenever they get anywhere near it. The same goes for the desktop that wifey uses. I'm always telling the boys to stay away from it. And I'm forever cleaning it and dusting it.

The same goes for the stuff we have in the kitchen. The microwave we bought is as new as the day it came out from the shop. Whenever it's used, I'll always give it a complete head to toe wipe down. The thermal pot looks as new as the day it came from the shop. And everyday, I'll wipe it down after refilling it. That's how obsessive I am with things.

Even the kitchen sink faucet is still shiny and gleaming like as if we bought it only yesterday. Wifey and me ALWAYS clean everything we use immediately after using it. Even the boys get pissed off at us from all the times we scream at them to keep the place clean and to be careful when using things.

We believe if you take care of something it'll last very much longer. We value all our stuff cos we worked hard to buy them all. But what do you do when someone in the house doesn't give two hoots about the things you take great pains to maintain and keep properly. And what do you do when that someone happens to be your own mother.

Before I go on, let me say that I have every respect for my mom as the woman who brought me up and all that but that doesn't mean I have to tolerate or accept all the negative things that she does that irks me. I'm a very vocal person these days and don't hesitate to speak out when something bothers or annoys me. I used to be a quiet and shy person but not anymore.

Imagine coming back home to find the entire kitchen floor covered in oil that Petronas or Shell would be more than happy to pay me for drilling rights. Or imagine, when you're about to have dinner, you grab a spoon or fork and find it covered in food or oil that hasn't been washed off. Or plates that still have food remnants on them. And it's not like it's the first time these things have happened.

Then imagine opening the lid of the washing machine to find powdered detergent smeared and stuck all around and on the machine. Not to mention all over the floor. Or imagine opening the microwave oven, the very same one you spent loads of time keeping as clean and new as possible, only to find the insides splashed with curry stains or whatever that was recently microwaved. What about looking at the stove all covered with whatnot's that you can tell just by looking at the dirt remnants what was cooked recently.

Then there is the cigarette (yes, my mom smokes) burns marks on cabinets and cushion covers and ashes strewn here and there (sometimes even inside the fridge or microwave oven and on the washing machine) which in itself poses a fire hazard. I'm not even going to go into the part about the dents, scratches and chips that I find on stuff like the washing machine, microwave, fridge, etc, etc, etc. It pains the heart to see stuff you painstakingly maintain get damaged like as if it didn't cost money. Hard earned money at that!

I'm not being picky or fussy mind you but it does get to me. Awww come on Nick, she's your mom, you might say. She's old and maybe cannot see properly to clean up well enough, you might say. Just for info, she isn't all that old or frail or whatever. She's an active member of the neighbourhood church community. She's capable of going out on her own and she's active around the neighbourhood so what I cannot fathom is why she can't be a little more careful with things and stuff around the house.

I've tried talking to her nicely and respectfully on so many occasions. To be truthful I've even raised my voice at her on a few occasions (hey, I'm only human) I try to be very tactful with the way I tell her things cos she can be pretty sensitive and say things like I'm picking on her all the time when in true fact I keep quiet most of the time.

In fact, both wifey and me let her do what she wants at home but when you come back and see all the stuff she does, it drives us up the wall. There have been occasions that we end up arguing with each other because of keeping everything inside (yes, as surprising as it may seem, wifey and me do have arguments too).

Imagine coming home tired after work and having to clean up the place again even though it was just cleaned by wifey in the morning. God, sometimes I feel like screaming my lungs out! I just had to vent here cos if I keep it inside too much it's going to drive me insane. Besides my back hurts like hell today and coming home to find the washing machine caked with laundry detergent didn't help my mood all that much.

Do you think I'm going overboard with this? Am I just being a grouch and too darn fussy about things? All that said and done, she's still my mother but that doesn't mean I have to keep quiet about things I feel strongly about. As wifey would always say, if we don't speak up, people will think that we're okay with everything they do and step all over us. I agree with her 100%! I hope when I grow old, I don't get on my kids nerves like this.

Ok, I better log off now cos wifey actually banned me from sitting here too long because of my aching back.
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48 comments:

  1. Hmmmmm understandable... sometimes you just need to vent, no intention to hurt ur mom's feelings, but I too would get irritated if I have to repeat myself over and over again. But she's ur mom, so just have to tahan la! :)

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  2. awwww.. she's just your mother.. and she's old

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  3. ok ok.. dun shoot me yet.. hahhahahahaa.. but.. awww.. she is your mom *lol*.. urmmm.. ur mom lives with you? all the time or just visits? if she is just visiting.. be tolerant of old people le.. cos we will get there too one day.. but if she is living with u fulltime.. you can tell her nicely... but it that dun work.. guess u'll just have to rant here more :D take care of your back ya.. i m having pain too.. hehehhee.. like laughter.. backpain spreads like wildfire too :)

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  4. Mom or not, I would FLIP if anyone left a mess like that! I am a clean freak and I also take very good care of my things so I totally understand where you are coming from!!!

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  5. If it's your house, then people have to follow your rules, I guess... But with moms, seems like it's a pretty tough situation. Maybe you have to have a proper sit down with her and tell her how you and wife do things at your place, and would be happy if she does the same as well... ?

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  6. Marzie - LOL! Yup, you're FC for today.

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  7. Marzie - Yeah, the fact that she's my mom makes it even more difficult. But sometimes keeping everything inside is really not good for the soul ...

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  8. Anny - She lives with us. I'm an only child so it's my responsibility to take care of here and I have no issues with that. It's just having to tell her over and over and over again about the same things daily can be exhausting la ...

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  9. Anny - LOL! You awwww me lagi, I'll get the spaceman to zap you ... Hahaha! Just kidding.

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  10. I do hope I won't become like that when my sons are all grown up. I never want to be a nuisance to them...

    I think I'll go and build myself a small hut by the river and rear some chickens, plant some vegetables and flowers... and have a dog or maybe a cat :)

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  11. Meleah - Thanks for understanding. The situation can be energy zapping ...

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  12. Terra Shield - Yup, the fact that she's my mom makes the situation dicey and the fact that she's sensitive as well complicates it more but like you said it's my house and I do want things to be my way which is really not all that hard ...

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  13. Nessa - We all do hope to not be a nuisance to our kids but sometimes situations in our younger days shapes and effects us in a certain way and no matter how hard we try, we end up just like our parents ... siggghh ... but that doesn't mean I'm going to let myself be that way when I'm older though :D

    You know, that hut by the river with chickens running all around sure sounds like a great idea :D And it has to be a dog la, dogs are more suited for little huts by the river ... hehehe ...

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  14. Naaa.... I kinda sense that you were mostly looking for an outlet to spew frustration a bit. Chill, my brother. I have no wisdom for you for unfortunately I am not that wise except try not to collect frustration. Pent up feelings are always the more dangerous.

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  15. Yea Nessa.. it has to be a dog.. hahhhahahaa.. cos dogs will keep u company and play with you and and and sit by you when u plant vegetables :D
    let's build little huts by the river and annoy each other when we are all old and bent... we could all share free wifi.. from Nick's hut.. hehhehehehe

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  16. LOL@Anny!

    We'd be like starting our own village by the river... free wifi?? I'm in!! :B

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  17. You still have the back pain?

    I face this kind of situations at home too.
    The difference is, it's not my own home. It's my parents'. So yeah, I can't say much about it.

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  18. free wifi.. hhahahahaa and hopefully we have a supa fast line like the P1 that the Nick guy here is offering :D

    r we gonna get free wifi Nick from your hut?

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  19. Hui Sen - Hey buddy, you're alive ... LOL! Just kidding. It's been a while since I've seen you in these parts. Where you been?

    Yeah, it's more like venting pent up anger!

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  20. Anny - Wah, you mean we're all going to start a community of old timers in huts by the river chasing chickens and planting vegetables with a dog as company? Cool, I want a nice beagle as my dog :D

    Oh you guys wanna curi my wifi is it? LOL!

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  21. Nessa - Now you don't go giving that AnnyBoo girl any ideas about starting a village of huts by the river ... LOL!

    Apa free wifi, I charge by the hour tau ... hahaha!

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  22. Carol - Yeah, unfortunately the back pain is still there ... siggghhh ...

    You know, it would be better if it wasn't my own home, then I wouldn't get so pissed ... LOL!

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  23. Anny - What's all this talk about free wifi from my hut? I'll open a little cyber hut and charge you all a fee la ... LOL!

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  24. Heheheee...i understand u Nick, tho mine is my MIL lah.. i'm tired to clean and clean the house, i just leave it in the mess...hahahaha!!!! The last time i talked about it with my husband, we had a big war..so no more mentioning about his mother lah..
    And you...Sabar saja lah!! She is your mother, so have to tahan..no point arguing..! Hehe

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  25. Since I have children, I becoming more clean freak around the house. After she plays or touches anything, I will get her to wash her hands, feet and face.

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  26. aiyaa.. this nick fella so kedekuts.. if we start a little village by the river when we are all old...
    1) you supply free wifi laa.. cos by that time.. you wud have made your millions.. :D
    2) nessa will supply flowers everyday..
    3) i will supply a few dogs.. and a beagle for u

    and we'll all chase chickens by the riverbank

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  27. err.. let's rope in the rocker chick and Bem Bem :)

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  28. I'm back at my old URL mate. I let my domain name expire.

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  29. Kadusmama - LOL! Yeah, when it comes to family susah mau sort out la. If we don't keep a level head, sure got war one like you said ...

    Yeah, so far wifey and me sabar like hell oredi but there are days when you just wanna shout yourlungs out!

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  30. Rose - LOL! We all become cleanliness freaks once you have children around the house ...

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  31. Anny - Hahaha, Annyboo, got nice proposal some more ... ok, I supply the wifi, Nessa the flower, you the dogs but who's gonna supply the food?

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  32. Anny - Good idea, the rocker chick can entertain us and Bem, urmmm, Bem, ahhh Bem ... well, we'll just make him do our bidding ... hahaha!

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  33. Hui Sen - Thought as much cos I couldn't access your blog ... Glad to see you back though :D

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  34. I don't mean to be rude but if she's sporting, you can always let her read this blog post ;) Who knows...things may change.

    Frankly speaking though...I would blow off too if I have to live with someone like that coz I like cleanliness and orderliness in my home.

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  35. Can I pray for your back? Better go see the doctor and don't be stuborn! :)

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  36. I freak out when I come home with something on the floor, too. It's a hardwork with house chores, too.

    Maybe you need a massage to get rid of back pains. :-)

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  37. Buddy, Could it be that your mum is looking for attention? All I can say is just take it...she is your mom and she's had a hard life (bringing you up certainly wasn't easy LOL). So just don't be so grouchy....material things like washing machines and microwaves do cost money but that's why they are replaceable. Your mum isn't!! Take it from me...treasure her and don't let those petty little flaws of hers affect you and your relationship with her. Life is too short Cheers!!

    PS MJ has passed on! Poor guy...

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  38. Mei Teng - LOL! Say, now that's an idea.

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  39. Mei Teng - The back is getting better and I hate doctors ... LOL!

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  40. Marlene - A back massage sounds good ... LOL!

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  41. Adrian - Buddy, I know all that and I do try to be a nice son (which is darn difficult with my character, you probably can testify to that ... LOL!) but it still bugs me nonetheless. Besides I've always been a grouch, you keep reminding me of that constantly ...hahaha!

    This is just my way of venting, you know me, the perennial complainer ... but sometimes I think you need to live in the others boots once in a while though to see things from that persons point of view. It's so much easier to pass judgment especially when you don't see the complete picture. My two cents :D

    Oh yeah, I'm truly saddened by MJ's death. The man was a legend!

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  42. Nick, my mother died when I was 16, and I miss her a lot. You have yours so enjoy her because you're lucky!

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  43. Cidao - Thanks buddy. I know what you mean but sometimes it gets really difficult at times.

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