Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My Son Is A Genius!

I was listening to my regular favourite radio station on the way to work this morning. There was this call in discussion going on about parents who force their kids for tuition and whether it was good or bad or whatever. Some of the response were pretty thought provoking which in turn got me thinking (which doesn't happen very much, mind you ... LOL!).

Why do we really send our children for tuition? Is it because they really need it? Is it because they want to go? Or is it because WE don't want them to embarrass us? There was this one caller who called in and I totally agree with what he had to say. People these days are so obsessed with keeping up with the Joneses that they force a lot of things upon their children. They don't want to be embarrassed if they're kids are not up to par with others.

I know of people who send their kids for all kinds of tuition classes and then force them to attend all kinds of courses even during the school holidays and all because they don't want to be embarrassed cos their kids are not straight 'A' students. I'm not generalizing anyone but I'm speaking from my own personal experience here and if I offend anyone, my apologies.

That caller was right, these days people are so obsessed with academic qualifications that no one works on the life aspect of things. If my child doesn't at least get 7 straight A's then it's time to force the useless bum to attend tuition classes so he can start getting straight A's and not embarrass me when my friends talk about how smart their child is. Well, I'm not like that and I never will be.

My kids don't go for tuition not because I can't afford it but simply because the decision will be up to them. If they feel they want to go for tuition after school to better themselves, then by all mean, I'll send them but I won't force it upon them. They're children for goodness sake. They need to play, get into trouble, cause mischief and stuff like that.

My younger boy badly needs to work on his mathematics and English (yes, English!) and I could just force him to go for tuition after school and even during the holidays but then when does he get to be a kid? I want him to experience life and learn things the hard way to prepare him for the real world out there. As long as he can read, write and understand what he is thought at in school, I think he'll do fine. Doing well in ones studies is a good thing but doing well in life is way more important.

These days people make it sound like not going to tuition or even not oing to university after you finish school would turn you into a failure later in life. I know of some people who frown on me when I say that I don't send my kids for tuition. They look at me with a shocked look and say things like,

'What? How is your son going to learn like that?'

or

'Aiyoo cannot, you must send your son for tuition, if not he cannot succeed!'


or

'You must make sure your son goes off to University after he finishes school.'


Well, I've got news for you. I've seen your kids and while they may be a heck of a lot smarter than my boys academically but I'll bet you every cent I have that my kids will be more resourceful out there in the real world than your kids ever will. That's why we get so many people these days who can't think outside the box. It's parents with attitude like these are the cause. There has to be a balance.

Of course I would love for my kids to be geniuses and become some rocket scientist with a computer memory like mind or something but they have to want to do it for themselves and not because I want them to and especially not because I want to keep up with the Joneses!

I'll be happy if they just grew up to be respectful and decent adults and not some pampered little twerp who couldn't fend for him/herself out there in the real world. I never went or was even forced to go for tuition classes when I was a child and I'm not really the brightest person on the block but I think I turned out alright :D Anyway, that's my two cents on what I think about parents who force their children to attend tuition classes. I do apologize if I've offended anyone though.
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24 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree with you more.....*claps hands*

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  2. Big Pumpkin - Thank you ... *takes a bow* LOL!

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  3. Eh..I was sent for tuition oh when I was a kid.. :P

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  4. My parents didnt send my and my siblings for tuition and i think we settled just fine. Well, of cos we are no geniuses lah. :)

    I like how you think of your children upbringing. Just let them be themselves. No pressure.

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  5. hmm i guess it's depend on the child's cognitive level but for me..don't stress the child..they need to enjoy themselves.. if we need to send them for tuition at least 2 subjects only...ehheh

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  6. i dun have any kids yet..(dun know if i can make them on time before i tutup kedai) hehehe.. but i agree with u... kids.. let them be kids.. dun let them be robots... and just know nothing but their books.. they even forget to look at the world cos they are too tired from tuition after tuition and piano, music, dancing, prancing.. hahahaa.. too much laa.. but then again.. i cannot comment.. i dun have one... mebbe when i do have one.. i can be a monster mom... and and feed them milo from the can :)

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  7. I believe most parents want their kids to study in a fun and stress-free environment too. i agree with u, kids need fun and relaxation in between.

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  8. Oh I don have any tuition-going kids, so no offense taken lol! I went to tuition last time, but all we really did was hang out and play2 only he he! :)

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  9. Mei Teng - LOL! Did you want to go or were you forced? I'm talking about these days when parents seem obsessed with wanting their kids to be good at everything ...

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  10. Carol - Same here, I think we shouldn't force our kids to be something WE want them to be. Let them grow and experience things and decide for themselves.

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  11. SweetGirlicious - Yes, I agree, don't stress them too much, just let them be children and they'll learn through experience. If at all you need tuition, just send them for the really weak ones ...

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  12. AnnyBoo - 'dun know if i can make them on time before i tutup kedai ...' LOL! Don't worry la, I'm sure you'll have kids of your won one day :D

    You said it exactly, they have too much things to do already as it that they sometimes don't have time to be children!

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  13. Life Ramblings - Yes, they most definitely do ...

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  14. Marzie - LOL! Hang out and play! Well, if you put it that way, then maybe tuition is good la ... hahaha!

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  15. I agree with you. I never go any tuition class last time and still i'm a Straight A's student what!! HAHHAHAAA Seriously!!!
    So no..my son not going to tuition unless he can't even read ABC at the age of 12.
    Parents who want to compete with each other are selfish! Why can't the parents let their kids have a normal life rather then pushing them so hard.
    There was one case when i was in uni (senior tol me lah), one student suicides because he failed to get A for one of his subjects. Very Sad right!

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  16. Your kids are smart little chaps lah. Don't worry. They are independent too. Oh, and they can go to 7-11 far away and buy their favourite things!

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  17. Kadusmama - Yup, sometimes the poor child has to live up to what the parents want them to be that it can be traumatizing. We should just guide them and not force them to do things ...

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  18. BT - LOL! Yeah, they're getting more independent by the day :D

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  19. I don't think tuition are at all necessary.Why would it be needed.Because they don't get what is taken at school?Then Why are they sent to a school?Just send them for tuition........
    Well that s my stand :)

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  20. Diff.thinkr - Well said. I think you hit the nail on the coffin. I totally agree with you :D

    Oh and welcome to Anything Goes!

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  21. Nick, we're living in a globalized world and knowledge is very necessary. They're kids and they don't know what's important or not. That's parents role, to guide them to the world in the right way.

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  22. Cidao - I agree with you but not to the point of forcing them to do all kinds of things, rigth?

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  23. Very true, normally some of my students have been forced by their parents to take up piano class that they have no interest at all.
    It's not easy to teach these kids....

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  24. Yoon See - It's never easy to teach someone something they've been forced to do.

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