Why Me?

I'm always cursed with horrible neighbours. I must have done something terrible in my previous life to my neighbours to be always plagued with neighbours from hell. Let me get straight to the point. Now, I'm the kind of person who keeps to myself. I don't mingle much with my neighbours. But I'm sandwiched between two of the worlds most annoying neighbours ever!

My right hand neighbour has this most annoying voice I've ever heard in my entire live. And when she speaks, she wants the entire neighbourhood to hear what she's talking about. God it annoys me to the max whenever I'm in the kitchen and she's instructing her maid to do stuff.

She treats the maid like as if the maid is one stupid person who doesn't understand anything. She talks to her in the most annoying voice like as if she's talking to a baby or something. I suppose I can't stop people from talking loudly or treating their maids like morons or something but it sure bugs me!

She has this high and mighty 'I know everything and anything voice' and you can always tell when she's home from work cos the moment she steps into her door, it's blah, blah, blah and more blah, blah, blah ... and in the most extremely annoying tone too.

Then my left hand neighbour instead has this little old lady that will perpetually be trying to start a conversation with you the moment you step outside the house. Now, once or twice, I don't mind, but every time she sees you outside she'll start asking all kinds of silly questions that she's asked a thousand times before.

It's come to a point both wifey and me dread stepping outside the house whenever she around. Out of respect for the elderly I used to entertain her questions but these days, I just try to ignore her and only nod my head when she asks me things. Not that she gets the message mind you. She even has the gall to ask me to send her places like as if I'm her taxi driver! I mean, she has a daughter and all that, why ask me? Does it look like I have the words 'Public Cab' painted on my car?

But that doesn't take the cake. What really takes the cake is that both this left and right neighbours have this very horrible habit of talking to each other at the back of the house, both from their respective houses screaming away at each other while I'm stuck in the middle listening to their din.

Come on people, haven't you heard about this thing called a telephone? Or at the very least step out of your yard and walk over to the other house and not scream at each other through my house. Have some respect for people's privacy, not to mention the peace. Maybe I should tie two tin cans together with a string and attach it to both their houses so they can communicate easier that way!

Can you imagine, there you are in the kitchen or the backyard doing some chore and you have this two very loud mouthed people trying to have this conversation with you stuck in between? To say it's annoying is putting it mildly. One of these days I am going to lose my temper and tell then to shut the f#@k up! It's enough to make me wanna take my vitamins before I blow up or something!

I really don't know why I'm always ending up with crazy neighbours but I'm betting it has something to do with my past life. Maybe I was a neighbour from hell before and this is someones way of making me pay back for my past crimes. Please God, open up a hole and swallow these two houses up and I promise I'll be a nice good little boy ... LOL!

Oh and I haven't even started about the two neighbours opposite me that just love to park their extra cars right in front of my gate and blocking me from moving in or out of my own house! That will take an entire post of its own.
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