Monday, February 6, 2012

I Don't Want My Kids To Suffer And Work Hard!

I've often heard loads of people saying that they're working hard now so their kids won't have to work hard and go through what they're going through. They want their kids to have an easy future, not to struggle like them. I see no wrong in that. In fact, I'm doing more or less the exact thing too but I don't entirely want them to have it all easy in the future. I don't entirely want them to have loads of money without having to work and earn it for themselves.

Now, you're probably thinking just what kind of horrid parent I am. Well, maybe you're right. But seriously, aren't kids already having life too easy these days by having all their whims provided for them without having to earn it? A child wants an iPad, they get it. A child wants a cell phone, they get it. A child wants a car, they get it. And all this without having to work and earn the stuff they get. How do you expect them to be self sustainable in the future?

Now, I see this trend as something totally wrong with parents these days. Yes, you love your kids, you want them to have everything. You want the best for them but you're forgetting that you're really not preparing them to face life in the future on their own. You're not going to be around forever to give them what they want. The savings you leave them will not last if they don't appreciate how hard it was for you to earn it for them.

I work hard, sometimes too hard to make sure the family has all their needs fulfilled and to make sure the future is secured. But I don't want the boys thinking that they don't have to work hard when they grow up. I don't want them taking things for granted and not appreciating the things they have. Yes, I could leave them loads of money (which in true fact would be a total of RM10.00 ... hahaha!) but how long would that last if they don't know how to manage it or appreciate how difficult it was for me to get it for them?

Working hard and having to earn every single thing that you have builds character. It builds respect and appreciation for the people and things you have. I see lots of kids these days who have no respect or appreciation for anything with attitudes bordering on arrogance even.

Take my own kids, they're the classic example of children who don't appreciate anything. All the stuff we buy them are destroyed within a matter of months or less. We got them MP3 players and within a month, it got busted and they want a new one. We gave them 3 or was it 4 cell phones and all of it doesn't work anymore. And all they can say is, I need a new cell phone, MP3, player, iPad, etc, etc, etc ...

Well, the wife and me have decided that they're not getting things easy anymore. Yes, we'll provide for them and take care of them and make sure they finish school and all that. But they have to earn everything they want from now on. They have to know things don't just appear magically from nowhere just because they want it. They want an iPad or a new cell phone? Well, they just have to save up for it or maybe volunteer to do chores in the house to earn some extra cash.

It might sound cruel and they'll probably complain that their friends parents got them this iPad, tablet, cell phone or whatever but they'll just have to work for it if they want one. Period! That way, maybe, just maybe they'll start to appreciate things and build character and turn out to be responsible and better adults in the future, god knows we're lacking in that right now!

But seriously folks, you can't blame the kids for this one. This is entirely your fault. By wanting to give them everything and making sure they don't have to work as hard as you have, you're indirectly shielding them from the harsh realities of life and maybe even failure. Remember, you're not going to be around forever and if they're so dependent on you, think how they'll manage without you around to give them all they want.

I've interviewed a lot of work prospects for my office and seriously, almost all of them had to call mommy to ask if the terms I offered were good or not! Seriously, I'm not kidding. I suppose, the terms I offered them required them to work hard and observe late hours and not one of a cushy CEO's position, which is what most kids these days think they're worth. In fact, I think all those kids in college when they graduate expect or even demand a high paying and cushy job just cos they have some paper qualifications from seagull scientific.

I fear for the future generation.

16 comments:

  1. I agree with you, Nick. The younger people these days (mostly gen y kids born in the 90's)are way too childish, demanding and irresponsible. Above all, they are spoilt by their parents.

    I guess them calling their mom to ask if the terms of employment was good enough is the most shocking thing I've heard all year!

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    1. I just hope these parents realize that by spoiling them they're only making them worse off in the future.

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  2. "Working hard and having to earn every single thing that you have builds character" - Yes, 100%

    While I do give my son a healthy weekly allowance - he has to WORK for every penny.

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    1. Good for him! A little hard work will never kill anyone, it'll only strengthen their character and resolve even more.

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  3. I totally agree with you, Nick!

    While we want our children have the best we can afford, but it is also important that we raise them up with a sense of responsibility and knowing that things don't just fall into their lap when they want it.

    I don't know whether I'm teaching my son the right value but I try. I hope he appreciates the things he got, which I can't when I was small. But he knows that for every single thing that he has, there is a reason for him getting it. He needs to do well at school. He needs to be respectful to elders. He needs to do chores.

    Now he wants a handphone. We basically told him that he needs to get 1st place in class and we'll discuss about it when he does that. ;)

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    1. '... but it is also important that we raise them up with a sense of responsibility ...' - that is what's really missing from kids these days.

      Kids need to be taught that nothing comes easy in this world. Sometimes by pampering them and giving them everything they need is really not good for them.

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  4. No, you're not a cruel parent. You see, if kids get everything handed down to them, they'll never learn to appreciate things, especially things other people worked hard for. Sacrifices, cooperation, sharing, patience...things like that have little meaning if you get everything you want.

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    1. Phew, that's a relieve ... LOL!

      But yes, if we had things easy we'd never learn to value them.

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  5. No lah. Not a cruel parent. Because if you are a cruel parent, then I'm even a crueler parent. haha

    My mom gave Buddy a PSP for his birthday last year, which I wasn't happy about. I kept it with me and let him play only on the weekends, and if the batt runs out, that's IT. No re-charging and playing till his little heart's content.

    My neighbour was just telling me about her friend whose daughter threw a tantrum and threatened her parents that she won't get good grades if her parents send her to Sunway Uni instead of Taylor Lakeside to be with her friend. Same course, Taylor's, RM20k extra. Her parents actually relented.

    If it were me, you pick your course, I send you where I can afford to send you, you don't want, then you go find work and help me with the bills.

    Seriously, kids get it too easy these days. I only buy my kids things on their birthday. Other times, depends on the price. Anything pricey, my answer is always "no money". Until one day, they humiliated me by asking my friend to get them an iPhone or iPad becaue "mommy has no money". hahahahaah serves me right lah kan?

    But I reward them when they do well. Bring them out makan. stuff like that. And now Buddy is becoming very responsible. He's so good that he cleans his room and makes his bed without me having to tell him to. And helps with the laundry. A little discipline never hurt anybody. :)

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    1. You can always give the PSP to me ... hahaha!

      Kids these days practically think that they HAVE to go to college irrespective of whether they're really going to study or not. It's like a fad! By the time they get out of college, they then expect to be instant CEO's ... siggghhh!

      The wife and me have been using the 'no money' (which is entirely true by the way) all the time these days when the kids want anything ... hahaha!

      I really think children should learn to appreciate things and work for it instead of having it drop on their laps. You're right, a little discipline never hurts anyone :D

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  6. Nick, I applaud your views on parenting and the future, and working for and gaining respect! I'm not a parent (yet!) but I hope when I am I don't wrap them in cotton wool, it's a tough world out there, and you have to be tough to be a parent sometimes.

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    1. I'm sure you'll do fine as parent when you have kids :D Yup, it really is a tough world and you've got to be prepared to face it head on.

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  7. Hey Nick, I saw your post on wanting the Nike GPS sportwatch. I got one, brand new, bought for RM690. It is yours for RM650 (they will sell it here end of year for RM600). I am in Penang, I can send via poslaju or collect in person. let me know! kyrinfire@gmail.com

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    1. Hey, thanks for the buzz but I already went out and bought a Garmin 610 which is way ahead in terms of performance compared to the Nike (in my humble opinion anyway). I'll pass the word around to see if anyone of my running buddies is interested in the watch and get back to you :D

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  8. Nick, as a parent we always want the best for our children. We always said that we work hard and leave everything for the kids in the future, but at the back of our mind, we do not want our kids to think of money as easy come and do not appreciate the value of it. We should not pamper them too much but if they do something right or pass with flying colours in exam I do not mind giving some reward as incentive. :)

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    1. Exactly. Money really isn't all that easy to come by, unless you're born into a filthy rich family la.

      I want then to respect the fact that we have to work hard for what we are today.

      Delete

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